Like all non-parents, I used to have a ton of ideas about raising children. Now that I have one of my own, I figure it’s the perfect opportunity to experiment. I have a friend that told me you screw up the first kid, then you know what not to do with the second. Since we’re just planning on the one, we better get it right the first time! Good thing I’ve got my theories!
MB is my 4-year-old daughter, and she is a hoot and a half. She’s smart (gets that from me), stubborn (gets that from her dad), and knows exactly what she wants (don’t know where she gets that). She’s gotten to the age where she asks a ton of questions, which is just perfect, since one of my theories is that you should always answer kids’ questions honestly.
So the other day, I was going to a friend’s baby shower, was getting the gift packed up, and here she comes: “Mommy, can we go see the baby?”
No, I told her, the baby isn’t here yet. You remember Mrs. Smith? She’s going to have the baby, but he’s still in her tummy. MB goes away for a bit.
“Mommy, did she eat her baby?”
After I stopped giggling, I told her, no, she didn’t eat her baby. I started telling her about the uterus and where it is, and how, when there is a baby in it, it gets bigger and looks like a big tummy. At that point her eyes glazed over and she went away.
But thank you, God, that she didn’t ask how the baby got there!